The Numbers Game: Lying is a Must

The Number. To some its like asking their deepest darkest secret, to others like myself I really could give a shit. For personal reasons and for me to ensure that I can always win the numbers game I will not, nor will I ever tell the world wide web my number. Most of you know it anyway but keep your mouths shut. If you haven't figured it out yet The Number is lucky number of people that you have slept with in this lifetime. There is indeed a separate list of only oral hook-ups and lets not even bring up the kiss list because that has more pages than the Bible. Anyways there comes a moment in a relationship where one idiotic party asks they other one for The Number. For me its usually the other person and I usually have a sneaking suspicion that my number triumphs theirs.

Rule #8: When playing The Numbers Game, lying is the only way to go.

My rule of thumb is if you are actually going to answer the question naturally you have to lie. Ok fine maybe not everyone but most of us feel the need. At the moment my current rule is take your current number divide that in half and boom that is what should come out of our mouth. Like most of my rules I usually somehow fuck it up. With this one its rare, but sometimes I'll answer truthfully. What have I learned from telling the truth? It is better to not. Never ever answer truthfully if you have to answer first.  The second party to answer this loaded question is always going to lie. Let's be real here people, if I were to answer second and the guy tells me I'm his second conquest ever I can't be honest and tell him how many people I've been with. So you have to lie to avoid making him look bad for him not getting laid and to avoid feeling bad for yourself because you've tripled his number a while ago.

My personal opinion is don't freaking ask in the first place. Why on earth would anyone in their right mind want to know the answer to that question? Nothing good can come from The Number conversation. I don't want to know about your number and truthfully its a little rude to want to know mine.  Either you are going to get an answer you aren't prepared for or you are going to get a fake answer. You could just plead the 5th but that's basically saying you are lacking experience or have had way to much sex. Bottom line don't play the number game because all in all its a lose lose situation.