Last night I went on one of the better dates I have been on in awhile. For starters we did a two person bar crawl through the Gaslamp. Anyone that can put up with me for four hours and support my drinking habits already scores major points. I know I have been anti-online for awhile but you guessed right Date # 4 came from OkCupid and shockingly enough he was normal, and doesn't live with his mother.
Due to the nature of the date, and due to the fact that I had not eaten dinner, I was relatively tipsy as we left the second bar. You can imagine what kind of things were flying out of my mouth. I don't typically sensor myself but after 3 vodka tonics any sort of sensory system was completely shut down. Bar 3 is where all great conversations happened. We talked about our exs, hatred of Colgate, one night stands, college, and a whole bunch of other high inappropriate first date topics. It was amazing. Then he tells me about a little thing called The Pocket Check.
Rule #9: Resort to the pocket check to test their motives.
Seriously after he told me what it was I was shocked I had never thought of it before. It was so simple. So ladies listen up, this is going to make life easier and so much more entertaining. Here's the situation. You are at a bar and some gentlemanly scholar (this situation is clearly hypothetical) and starts chatting you up. Most women think getting hit on it a bar means one thing. This guy wants to get laid. So as Mr. Bar Man is schmoozing his way into your life, and possibly your pants, here is a way to test his motives. Now if you flat out ask him if he is trying to get some, if that is really is his motive the dude is going to lie through his teeth. To test his motives simply ask him to take everything out of his pockets and place them on the bar.
Its so simple, and would be priceless. It could go one of three ways. He could do it and you could find a phone, wallet, a pack of gum, GI Joe action figure, maybe some cigarettes, and no condom. Or he could pull out all the above and a condom. If there is a condom clearly his motives where go to the bar and leave with some lucky lady who the love glove was intended for. Lastly he could refuse to do it because he is smart and realizes that in fact it would be self incriminating. Essentially his refusal would be the trigger that his motives were indeed to have sex with you.
The Pocket Check should be resorted to when trying to find alterntaive motivies in the bar situation. I would like to thank bachelor number 4 for his contribution to my rules. And yes date 4 and I have plans to go out again. Let's hope this time its more of a sober hangout.
brilliant..i'm going to do this.
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