Appropriate Times to Lie.

I am only ever honest. Honesty real is the best policy. However I am all about lying at Planned Parenthood to for one score birth control as well as to avoid judgement from registered nurses who think I need to keep my legs closed. Last year I lied through my teeth. I of course lied about my number and no way was I going to say how much I really drink in a week. But this Saturday I decided that since I am safe about my bedroom activities it shouldn't matter if I lie or not...

I walked into my 8:30am appointment hungover and wanting to be in my bed. I filled out my necessary paperwork and waited. I got my finger poked and peed in the cup for the annual testing and waited for the questioning to commence. The nurse comes in, brown bag in hand and sits down.

First order of business she asks me about my annual vag examines and other medical questions and then moved onto the fun part.

Nurse: How many new partners have you had?
Me: (Counts on fingers) 5.
Nurse: In the past year?
Me: It was a crazy year.
Nurse: Are you in a monogamous relationship?
Me: Clearly not.
Nurse: (Walks over to drawer opens it and pulls out more condoms)

She didn't even ask me about my drinking, but I think she assumed the worst as my answers clearly are not what she wanted to hear. I've decided I had it right the first time around, lying to avoid judgement is beyond appropriate.