Slut Saturdays: Booty Call on a Whole New Level

Typically you receive the booty call after midnight and it is typically infused with alcohol and happens on the walk home from Roberto's with a California Burrito in hand. You know that if your phone is ringing past midnight Thursday through Saturday you are being summoned by someone on your list to rekindle the non romance of your strictly boning relationship you have established. Now my problem with the typical time frame of when a booty call takes place is I frequently party entirely too hard so come midnight I am no position to arrange a secret rendezvous or let alone perform amazingly.

Rule #10: Screw the time frame, get it when you need it.

By 10 pm Friday I had already done a keg stand, chugged a 40oz Smirnoff Ice (thank you to whomever Iced me), and did the usual shots to the face. By the time I actually made it to the bars my vision was pretty blurry and I am about 75% sure I was out for maybe a half hour. So when I ventured back to the house party I started out at my phone was dead and I was right there with it. As I charged my phone and took a power nap in my best friends bed I had one thing on my mind, a booty call. Well ok that and a California Burrito.

Once my phone was ready to go I ventured to Roberto's with the rest of the drunkards and placed my call. Here's a hint if you are more wasted than the person answering your call you should probably just hang up. Because I was in no shape to even being trying to coordinate a booty call. The great thing is I wasn't any way disappointed because 1. I got my burrito and 2. I was too wasted to care about anything other than the carne adase fry amazingness. At least for the next few hour.

I awoke at 8am Saturday and I still had my craving for sex. I decided to say fuck the rules and make an AM booty call. I kicked out a friend who crashed in my bed and told her she had to leave so I could get my fix. The Constant showed up and 9:30 and we handled our ish. It was amazing, way better than the cup of coffee I had originally planned. Now let me ask you this was your Saturday morning as productive as mine? Unless you can say you boned, cleaned your apartment, and made it to the gym by noon, I am going to say I win.