The Crazy: Ivan You Will be Single for Life

So I went round 2 on disabling my OkCupid account because clearly it was not finding decent matches for me at all. Between men that want to get married, to men that live with there mothers I was getting severely over it. But as I've mentioned before its kind of like an addiction I can't kick. Hi my name is Rachael, R-a-c-h-a-e-l, and I am an addicted to online dating. I think its because who knows maybe my soul mate is out there browsing the web and looking for me and who am I to disable my profile and prevent him from finding my amazing self. I also missed reading the messages. They literally are pure entertainment.

Yet again I decide to put myself online for the third time. I revamp my profile and immediately get some messages. No one worth my time. Some overall mediocre looking guys with mediocre personalities. Included in that I got a message from a kid named Ivan. Overall it was a message discussing my horoscope and how he would love to meet for coffee. Well unfortunately Ivan I am 0% attracted to you and your profile was not in the least bit humorous or interesting. Guys that take online dating serious kill me. Typically I won't respond and some guys take the hint that I am not freaking interested. BUT not Ivan, no Ivan decides to send me this little gem a few days later.

I know this doesn't mean anything to you,
but it'll at least make me feel better.

So honestly,
go fuck yourself.

and I mean that as
sincerely
as the first message I sent you.

I hope you have an awful
awful day.

SERIOUSLY, WTF? He cannot be serious? I read it an immediately died laughing. Like he decided to take the time to sign in, find me again, and send me this god awful message. Strangely enough it made my day. I mean he obviously was pretty damn offended and pissed off that I did not want to have coffee with him. Kind of boosted my ego, he wanted to meet me so badly he felt the urge to send me hate mail for ignoring him. I am going to go out on a limb here and say Ivan is still single because he doesn't cope with rejection well at all.

My advice Ivan is calm the fuck down. Just because I don't want to meet you does not give you the power to go tell me to fuck myself. Which in my response to Ivan I politely agreed to do because dudes are beyond DOUCHES. Here I was trying to be polite by pleading the fifth and he get seriously angry because I didn't respond saying Ivan thanks for the offer but you are not what I go for and I would never ever have sex with you. I think my silence said it way better. It's guys like Ivan that make me want to stay single for the rest of my life.

So to Ivan. Yes I will go fuck myself because you will never have the opportunity to do so because you are a nut case. And to wish someone an awful day is just plain rude. How on earth do you expect to find someone when you are an asshole. You need to take a deep breath and stay positive. Look how quickly you brought so much negativity and animosity to the table, to hell with you I would never date you. EVER.