Slut. I really hate the word. Society has constructed social norms to associate the word slut with such negativity. Realistically I am just a sex enthusiast. I practice safe sex. I get tested. I take birth control. I buy my own condoms god damn it, so why must it be such a negative thing?
Rule #164 (I have no clue what I am actually on): Refrain from using the word slut, unless you are referencing an outfit or Halloween costume.
How many guys do you know that get high fives for every time they get laid? Or how many of their bros buy them a congratulatory breakfast? It is just ridiculous. This particular double standard just quite frankly pisses me off. But I do happen to have a lot of male friends I hang out with that are impressed with my mad game time after time. But that's not my point.
My point is I do not judge people for being in monogamous relationships and only sleeping with one dude their entire life, so why are you going to point the finger at me and my decisions? Majority of my friends are pretty classy ladies who have never had a one night stand, yes they enjoy my stories but have never had one, but the accept me and my sexual enthusiasm. This is 2012 we have a black president, marijuana is almost legal, and woman can run companies, so why can't I fuck whoever I want and not be called a slut? All I am asking is for society to be more accepting of sexual ventures and turn slut into an adjective to describe a cocktail dress. Just a thought.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Just Say Yes.
Let me start by saying it has to be a full force yes, not a yea, or a yeah, or an ok, but a deep down you mean it YES. Life has become a weekly cycle on snooze buttons, bottles of pinot grigio, working, slacking off at work, and then spending my weekends being hungover, waiting for the dreaded Monday for the viscous cycle to start all over. So my friends I am here today to pledge myself to changing my perspective and choosing the yes path.
Life is what you make of it and this past year I haven't made much. Our household adopted the yes mentality today and already we have a pep in our step. Changing your perspective can help you see the bigger picture. So remember kids just say YES.
Side note. This whole yes thing is about to lead to some serious adventures. A good story never starts with someone saying no...
Life is what you make of it and this past year I haven't made much. Our household adopted the yes mentality today and already we have a pep in our step. Changing your perspective can help you see the bigger picture. So remember kids just say YES.
Side note. This whole yes thing is about to lead to some serious adventures. A good story never starts with someone saying no...
Monday, November 7, 2011
Crying? Seriously.
I hate when people cry. Mainly because no one, and I mean no one ever looks good when they are crying. I understand tears in tragic situations don't get me wrong. But realistically I cry only in extreme circumstances where there are a limited number of people. Its just my thing, or at least I thought.
Rule #14: Never ever ever ever ever cry during sex.
MOST AWKWARD MOMENT of my entire life happened on Saturday. I was going about my day drinking for the LSU game and hitting on my potential new black boyfriend (who has no idea we are even about to date) when I get a lovely text message from The Constant. Needless to say one to many Jameson shots later I am in The Constants car on the way to my house for some afternoon delight.
It was smooth sailing for all and we are having a grand old time when BOOM in the middle of casual just plain sex I start crying. For the record it was only a mild cry I was not in any way sobbing. But it was just enough for him to notice and say something. I had no reason so therefore I had no response to his questions. I also was hammered, hammered enough to be off my game and not think to say I had something in my eye. Needless to say it was way weird.
He left and everything seemed fine but if I were a dude and some chick started crying it would be a warning sign of crazy. And I am not crazy. I refuse to turn into a crier after all these years. Maybe if I were a bit more sober it would have made more sense. Who knows? Like my non-crying trait I also don't dwell so moving on...
Rule #14: Never ever ever ever ever cry during sex.
MOST AWKWARD MOMENT of my entire life happened on Saturday. I was going about my day drinking for the LSU game and hitting on my potential new black boyfriend (who has no idea we are even about to date) when I get a lovely text message from The Constant. Needless to say one to many Jameson shots later I am in The Constants car on the way to my house for some afternoon delight.
It was smooth sailing for all and we are having a grand old time when BOOM in the middle of casual just plain sex I start crying. For the record it was only a mild cry I was not in any way sobbing. But it was just enough for him to notice and say something. I had no reason so therefore I had no response to his questions. I also was hammered, hammered enough to be off my game and not think to say I had something in my eye. Needless to say it was way weird.
He left and everything seemed fine but if I were a dude and some chick started crying it would be a warning sign of crazy. And I am not crazy. I refuse to turn into a crier after all these years. Maybe if I were a bit more sober it would have made more sense. Who knows? Like my non-crying trait I also don't dwell so moving on...
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Realistic Relationships.
I have a fear of commitment. It stresses me out to think of spending entirely too much time with one person. But where I do fear relationships with dudes I am one lucky chick who has a group of awesome girlfriends who will hang out with me regardless of all my issues. Recently I have been evaluating my relationships with everyone. Guys, girls, my friends, my parents, the gym, my tivo, and I have come to terms with the fact that sometimes you gotta edit people out.
Rule # 13 (maybe? i've forgotten): Don't waste time on people who don't make an effort.
Overall I am a pretty busy person. I have things always happening in life. BUT I make a huge effort to be there for all of my friends. I make the effort to attend birthdays, graduation, break up parties, family events, I make an effort all around. But my friends not everyone tries as much as I do. I accept that people aren't as awesome as I am (kidding).
Life happens. People change and grow. But once you've changed into someone I cannot relate with and the effort to hang out with you becomes exhausting its time to reevaluate.
Rule # 13 (maybe? i've forgotten): Don't waste time on people who don't make an effort.
Overall I am a pretty busy person. I have things always happening in life. BUT I make a huge effort to be there for all of my friends. I make the effort to attend birthdays, graduation, break up parties, family events, I make an effort all around. But my friends not everyone tries as much as I do. I accept that people aren't as awesome as I am (kidding).
Life happens. People change and grow. But once you've changed into someone I cannot relate with and the effort to hang out with you becomes exhausting its time to reevaluate.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Boozing leads to boning.
Overall a majority of my number has occurred due to heavy drinking. If I drew a chart the number of drinks consumed would increase the percentage of the likelihood of me hooking up with someone. I know what your thinking. I think it quite regularly. As I grow up ever so slowly I have three options.
1. Drink less to lessen my percentage of the likelihood of hooking up
2. Control myself when I drink
3. Find myself a boyfriend
All of these have terrible cons attached to them.
1. Drinking less just probably isn't an option unless I want to find an entire new set of religious friends
2. My finer moments happen when I am intoxicated I can't void the world of the moments, like this weekend when I got chased by a cabby for puking in his cab. For the record it was a very very small amount and we gave him $20 for a $6 ride.
3. I have issues with commitment.
1. Drink less to lessen my percentage of the likelihood of hooking up
2. Control myself when I drink
3. Find myself a boyfriend
All of these have terrible cons attached to them.
1. Drinking less just probably isn't an option unless I want to find an entire new set of religious friends
2. My finer moments happen when I am intoxicated I can't void the world of the moments, like this weekend when I got chased by a cabby for puking in his cab. For the record it was a very very small amount and we gave him $20 for a $6 ride.
3. I have issues with commitment.
Friday, June 17, 2011
The Return of Ivan
Welp he is back. Ivan has returned. I little update on my online dating life. The latest bachelor, I think we are on 5, who was actually normal fell off the face of the earth. Clearly this whole OkCupid dating thing is good for free sushi dinners and hilarious stories that I can one day share with my kids. The question I and everyone else seems to be asking is why the hell do I still have a profile? The only answer I have is pure entertainment and the occasional confidence booster.
Last night I got this amazing message from crazy Ivan.
"well, isn't that's interesting,
how could it be that you're still on this website?
could you be so pretentiously picky, prudish,
or quite simply: too perfect Ms. Princess?
Oh but forgive me if I'm being "patronizing", lol.
but really, how could it be that such a
sunflower of chance like yourself
still be available?
all the wrong guys, the wrong names,
the phone numbers calling,
the messages arriving,
but never the right ones.
maybe you enjoy the attention,
after all... Who wouldn't?
but creating a new account after 6 months
and then still seeing you here,
I can't help but laugh a little at the Gods
and their luck,
so just thinking about that
for a moment has been fun.
good luck at your hummingbird chance"
The only thing I have to say besides yes I am pretentiously picky, but I do not want another googley eyed date, umbilical cord boy, or someone who is ready to marry me. I am definitely not prude in the freaking slightest. Lastly sorry for having standards Ivan, and also I am sorry that I am still on this site reading messages like this from douche bags like yourself. Do the world a favor and go get laid, you will be worlds nicer. And I officially give up.
Last night I got this amazing message from crazy Ivan.
"well, isn't that's interesting,
how could it be that you're still on this website?
could you be so pretentiously picky, prudish,
or quite simply: too perfect Ms. Princess?
Oh but forgive me if I'm being "patronizing", lol.
but really, how could it be that such a
sunflower of chance like yourself
still be available?
all the wrong guys, the wrong names,
the phone numbers calling,
the messages arriving,
but never the right ones.
maybe you enjoy the attention,
after all... Who wouldn't?
but creating a new account after 6 months
and then still seeing you here,
I can't help but laugh a little at the Gods
and their luck,
so just thinking about that
for a moment has been fun.
good luck at your hummingbird chance"
The only thing I have to say besides yes I am pretentiously picky, but I do not want another googley eyed date, umbilical cord boy, or someone who is ready to marry me. I am definitely not prude in the freaking slightest. Lastly sorry for having standards Ivan, and also I am sorry that I am still on this site reading messages like this from douche bags like yourself. Do the world a favor and go get laid, you will be worlds nicer. And I officially give up.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Family Affairs: Sick.
Holy grossness. I need a moment to breathe, or maybe throw up, I am not sure which.
Well let me tell you about my day today. Just your average Thursday at the office, aimlessly stalking people on Facebook, looking at DIY wall decor, and googling how to become an extreme couponer. I work sometimes I swear. So I get back from lunch and before I start to actually be productive I went in to check my messages on OkCupid.
I sign-in, and I kid you not the first person looking back at me from my computer screen, with a whopping 71% match was MY BROTHER.
Obviously my natural first reaction was HOLY FUCK, which I then had to put .25 cents in the office swear jar for. But seriously OkCupid? My brother? It is demented and wrong, and quite frankly wanted me to lose my lunch. Not like my brother is a bad guy but no way am I into things that are a total go in Alabama. Also I would never date anyone that would be remotely similar to either one of the Ward Sons. So I took this as a sign from God or whoever is throwing signs out these days that maybe my online dating life is over.
Well let me tell you about my day today. Just your average Thursday at the office, aimlessly stalking people on Facebook, looking at DIY wall decor, and googling how to become an extreme couponer. I work sometimes I swear. So I get back from lunch and before I start to actually be productive I went in to check my messages on OkCupid.
I sign-in, and I kid you not the first person looking back at me from my computer screen, with a whopping 71% match was MY BROTHER.
Obviously my natural first reaction was HOLY FUCK, which I then had to put .25 cents in the office swear jar for. But seriously OkCupid? My brother? It is demented and wrong, and quite frankly wanted me to lose my lunch. Not like my brother is a bad guy but no way am I into things that are a total go in Alabama. Also I would never date anyone that would be remotely similar to either one of the Ward Sons. So I took this as a sign from God or whoever is throwing signs out these days that maybe my online dating life is over.
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