Welp he is back. Ivan has returned. I little update on my online dating life. The latest bachelor, I think we are on 5, who was actually normal fell off the face of the earth. Clearly this whole OkCupid dating thing is good for free sushi dinners and hilarious stories that I can one day share with my kids. The question I and everyone else seems to be asking is why the hell do I still have a profile? The only answer I have is pure entertainment and the occasional confidence booster.
Last night I got this amazing message from crazy Ivan.
"well, isn't that's interesting,
how could it be that you're still on this website?
could you be so pretentiously picky, prudish,
or quite simply: too perfect Ms. Princess?
Oh but forgive me if I'm being "patronizing", lol.
but really, how could it be that such a
sunflower of chance like yourself
still be available?
all the wrong guys, the wrong names,
the phone numbers calling,
the messages arriving,
but never the right ones.
maybe you enjoy the attention,
after all... Who wouldn't?
but creating a new account after 6 months
and then still seeing you here,
I can't help but laugh a little at the Gods
and their luck,
so just thinking about that
for a moment has been fun.
good luck at your hummingbird chance"
The only thing I have to say besides yes I am pretentiously picky, but I do not want another googley eyed date, umbilical cord boy, or someone who is ready to marry me. I am definitely not prude in the freaking slightest. Lastly sorry for having standards Ivan, and also I am sorry that I am still on this site reading messages like this from douche bags like yourself. Do the world a favor and go get laid, you will be worlds nicer. And I officially give up.
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