Holy grossness. I need a moment to breathe, or maybe throw up, I am not sure which.
Well let me tell you about my day today. Just your average Thursday at the office, aimlessly stalking people on Facebook, looking at DIY wall decor, and googling how to become an extreme couponer. I work sometimes I swear. So I get back from lunch and before I start to actually be productive I went in to check my messages on OkCupid.
I sign-in, and I kid you not the first person looking back at me from my computer screen, with a whopping 71% match was MY BROTHER.
Obviously my natural first reaction was HOLY FUCK, which I then had to put .25 cents in the office swear jar for. But seriously OkCupid? My brother? It is demented and wrong, and quite frankly wanted me to lose my lunch. Not like my brother is a bad guy but no way am I into things that are a total go in Alabama. Also I would never date anyone that would be remotely similar to either one of the Ward Sons. So I took this as a sign from God or whoever is throwing signs out these days that maybe my online dating life is over.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Friday, May 20, 2011
Don't Be That Guy
I have this friend who is in a relationship with a girl who sucks. That's not really my point but she really does suck. She is boring, has weird friends, and is kind of plain. She also dislikes me a lot, which also isn't my point. Anyways moving on. They have been dating for awhile now and he seems to have the same conversation with me every freaking week about how he is "over it" and needs to end it. Well my friend it has been weeks now and you are still clearly not "over it".
Rule #12: If you are over it, end it. It's freaking common sense.
When you date someone it is natural to want to hang out, so when my friend is telling me he is avoiding hanging out with her, all signs point to dumb the bitch. I have countless times told him he is over it and just has to pull the plug, mainly because it is quite pathetic that she can't take a hint. The main problem is this girls life sucks right now and he feels bad, which fine here is your gold star but staying with someone out of pity is the worst than cheating on the girl. There is also the fact that his bedroom activity will lessen as well, which lets face it is probably 75% of the reason they are still together.
Regardless of anything a word to the wise. If you want out then get out. It is mean, selfish, and pitiful to the other party to stay involved. So gentleman please don't ever be that guy that everyone can tell would rather be single.
Rule #12: If you are over it, end it. It's freaking common sense.
When you date someone it is natural to want to hang out, so when my friend is telling me he is avoiding hanging out with her, all signs point to dumb the bitch. I have countless times told him he is over it and just has to pull the plug, mainly because it is quite pathetic that she can't take a hint. The main problem is this girls life sucks right now and he feels bad, which fine here is your gold star but staying with someone out of pity is the worst than cheating on the girl. There is also the fact that his bedroom activity will lessen as well, which lets face it is probably 75% of the reason they are still together.
Regardless of anything a word to the wise. If you want out then get out. It is mean, selfish, and pitiful to the other party to stay involved. So gentleman please don't ever be that guy that everyone can tell would rather be single.
Friday, May 6, 2011
Girl on the Side: I Think Not.
This little gem was waiting in my inbox the other day.
"Hey so I'm gonna be completely honest here. I'm engaged ane looking for a girl on thw side. Yes I know if im looking for a girl why am I getting married, right? Well basically I would like to get it out of my system before I go through with it. And no I'm not a dog or whatever. Just a normal guy that would like to have some fun. And you are so freakin sexy its stupid. I'm tall, 6'4, dark, told to be very handsome/ cute, Italian/ French, military and 26. I don't have any pics on here but if ur interested then hit me up on my email, sdrider82@___.com. or send me ur email. If ur interested at least get to see who I really am.
And fuck my life your so sexy! Oh yeah, said that already."
A few things.
1. I have never or will I ever be a girl on the side.
2. Learn how to spell.
3. You are correct you are not a dog, you are the biggest douche ever.
4. I don't do military.
5. If you are going to "go through with it" then maybe shes not the right girl for you.
Lastly this maybe Chris Harrison doing a new segment and instead of pegging child molesters he is outing home wreckers. So to sdrider82 I will indeed be passing on this lovely offer.
"Hey so I'm gonna be completely honest here. I'm engaged ane looking for a girl on thw side. Yes I know if im looking for a girl why am I getting married, right? Well basically I would like to get it out of my system before I go through with it. And no I'm not a dog or whatever. Just a normal guy that would like to have some fun. And you are so freakin sexy its stupid. I'm tall, 6'4, dark, told to be very handsome/ cute, Italian/ French, military and 26. I don't have any pics on here but if ur interested then hit me up on my email, sdrider82@___.com. or send me ur email. If ur interested at least get to see who I really am.
And fuck my life your so sexy! Oh yeah, said that already."
A few things.
1. I have never or will I ever be a girl on the side.
2. Learn how to spell.
3. You are correct you are not a dog, you are the biggest douche ever.
4. I don't do military.
5. If you are going to "go through with it" then maybe shes not the right girl for you.
Lastly this maybe Chris Harrison doing a new segment and instead of pegging child molesters he is outing home wreckers. So to sdrider82 I will indeed be passing on this lovely offer.
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